


a slice of nature

by whitencise



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Gen, vent - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 07:17:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16888071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whitencise/pseuds/whitencise
Summary: kind of a vent





	a slice of nature

i want a slice of nature, to be able to release the last bit of the string of a balloon- say goodbye as it nonchalantly floats away to never be seen again. only to apologize to no one, to disappoint no one, to make a promise of sticking together to myself, to become a better person through a trial and error of myself and only myself, the way i want to heal without anything else around me. letting go of my life seems like a nonexistent option. besides, i have so many things i want to do in the future but the promise of uncertainty is inversely proportional to the blooming a fear, that is, the fear of the unknown. if i could lay in the grass and disappear and roam the torn up rags of an earth as an invisible entity would be ideal. but im too idea oriented, particularly the ones that are more fantasy and exaggerated which propels my brain into a longing pile of begs and self pity thinking, “is my life really going to be this sad and repetitive? there is no room to grow because day and night i spend my time trying to achieve perfectionism only to get myself upset that i can’t reach it and to insult myself for not reaching up and grabbing perfectionism by the hand.” self pity will get me nowhere but laying in this slump of failure will get me nowhere so why try? why not abandon it all to settle in the grass. the healthily green grass that’s thriving to the point of it being so close to touching the sky to mask my unsuccessful opposite of thriving self in their goodness. to believe that i can throw it all away to be masked away in a curtain of trees so tall that i can barely see the peaks of sun that so desperately try to pester my lost self and fish me back into a cold reality. why is it so impossible to do so? why can’t i just say fuck it and live in nature for the rest of my life, it seems so much better to lure myself into the last bits of nature before we angrily hack into it for materialistic desires. why do desires like mine that seem so simple and innocent have to be ridden by ones that have bad intentions. it’s like the world favors the bad and the immoral.


End file.
